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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28189236">Kristen F-ing Stewart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkygae/pseuds/milkygae'>milkygae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Wilds (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I digress - Freeform, I'm looking at you The Writers, If they don't end up happy.., Or maybe this is after canon??, Shelby talks like a camp counselor you know she'd call it shenanigans, There's like .5 seconds of angst because gays are very angsty™, They Deserve This, the rest is fluff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:55:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28189236</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkygae/pseuds/milkygae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Toni is drunk. Shelby takes care of her. They love each other. I love them and give them the happiness they deserve.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Shelby Goodkind/Toni Shalifoe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>298</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Kristen F-ing Stewart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shelby groans under all 160 pounds of basketball player. Toni snurfles and presses a slobbery kiss to her neck. Shelby prides herself on her calmness, but she’s currently having visions of smacking Fatin upside the head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, let’s get </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shelby’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> girlfriend blackout drunk!! But oh no we can’t do that to mine she’s going to drive me home!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Living on campus has its ups (see quick access to a private room) and its downs (they walk to most parties so they can’t use driving as an excuse to stay sober). The short distance is also helping with the strenuous job of dragging a limp body home, however. So Shelby doesn’t dwell anymore on it. She knows she has a lot to be grateful for, and honestly, she’s just happy Toni felt comfortable enough with them to let loose. It was wonderful to see her girlfriend (she still can’t believe she gets to call her that!!) act like a normal teenager. Okay so maybe not </span>
  <em>
    <span>totally </span>
  </em>
  <span>normal, there were some rather interesting robot moves involved, but Toni smiled. Like full on smiled. There were teeth, and a dimple, and everything!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni’s still smiling, even in her drunken stupor, and her warm breath is keeping the chilly air away. Shelby’s once again grateful, even a 10-minute walk is enough to have you shivering in this kind of weather. The dorm building’s just in sight and she’s looking forward to getting to take care of Toni for once *and get some blackmail.* Fatin’s already prepared an album of blackmail photos, but she also can’t wait to take some of her own. They won’t be blackmail photos persay, but rather “if you don’t give me cuddles I’m sending them to the yearbook press” photos. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s lost in a dream world so she doesn’t notice Toni blearily opening her eyes and her smirk that </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>means trouble, though that doesn’t mean much because Toni’s middle name is probably trouble. The freezing hand snaking up her back shocks her back to reality and she jolts, nearly dropping Toni in the process. Toni’s smirk has been replaced by a petulant frown and she pushes away from Shelby, frowning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shelby’s worried for a second, but Toni seems to be doing fine, if the way she’s crossing her arms and glaring says anything. “C’mon we’re almost back to the dorm,” she sighs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni glares harder.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not doing anything you say until you answer my question.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni looks like a ruffled chicken and it takes all of Shelby’s will power not to burst out laughing. “Fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Who’s the most gorgeous girl in the world?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This is vaguely feeling like a trick question but being sappy has never hurt Shelby’s chances (pageant judges always did love a good sob story).</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Toni is looking vaguely affronted and Shelby is wondering what on earth could be a better answer when Toni snorts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“False. It’s fucking Kristen Stewart who else?” she states and then proceeds to collapse back into Shelby’s arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>5 minutes later and they’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally </span>
  </em>
  <span>in the dorm. Shelby’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>jus</span>
  </em>
  <span>t gotten Toni out of her shorts and tucked in, when Toni’s eyes flutter open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was lying before,” she whispers, looking years younger. “It’s you.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>https://thestovetops.tumblr.com/post/189303145446/imagine-your-otp is the inspo :)<br/>Anyways please give them the ending they deserve. Also, Kristen Stewart is just *chef's kiss.*</p></blockquote></div></div>
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